i have about 120 minutes of material for just the first two parts of turned in various formats, c-tape and minidisc mainly. fucking destructive to the soul, all this building and building without knowing how far to take it, where to stop, who to build it with. i get frustrated when things don't progress - and at the same time we have all these little pieces of shitty pop-music floating about. everything about this is in a continuous state of flux, and to fully understand it, i think i need it to stop for a while. or at least slow down. so, stop writing to get rid of the anxiety you feel when you stop writing. it makes no sense.
if there was an easy way around this, i think i just might take it. BUT there is not, the fact is that we have a badly airconditioned little room with drums, drunks and amplifiers in it and an unknown amount of people come by to play there a couple times a week. this should work just as simply as it sounds. it doesn't though, and i don't understand that. there are all these bits i mentioned earlier parrallel things making noise that i need to write down now: forcefield int. BASSDRUM AC.GUITAR (F) VIOLINS (one on accents, another not) VLTONE (AC) ext1. (Am) AC.GUITAR has some chords here, Am Gm F A A# (for a chorus) and Am F Dm F etc. violins do hungarian shit shit shit. BASS and VLTONE are dating now, they share everything, especially E/A C/C E/A F/C or something. keyboard of the 80s leads. did i mention TRUMPET was here all along. ext2. (Em) is glued on top of ext1, this is to help me remember. BASS is still friends with VLTONE in background although the thrill has subsided now and VLTONE never opens doors and probably sleeps around. the verse goes /E C /EC F /E C /EC F /FG /GA /AF:and then it starts again. there is an ELECTTRIC GUITAR here: C / C / C / C / Em Dm / C'' F :and that repeats too. then theres a big chorus that is very beautiful that you would like or so i'd like to imagine, and there is a part with a repetitious metallophone that sings AHC over and over, then the BASS stops and starts after some drums have been played and then it goes very dreamy but the kind of dreams with feedback from maltreated guitarspeakers would be like this perhaps, although there is no guarantee, and you can't have it back in two weeks, or ever for that matter, the true cause for concern here is more in the concept than the product. we have no name. would you feel like talking to people if they didn't know what to call you and you couldn't tell them? one of the new songs will have the new name, and that baby will grow. and there will be lots of different songs, the amount of parts and parents to them we have is ludicrous and putting 9 different parts in one song may be too much.
so we cut down and cut the songs up and spread the whole thing around before bringing it back together later, alterations will be made forever. luckily, what we do have here is the capacity for change. at any point, we can go off and write slavic traditional folk. and why not? we already did, and it's played on the accordion by the way. still. if we could never change, never ever do anything differently, we'd be worse off than the saddest man in the whole world; dweezil zappa, cursed at birth, doomed to eat pancakes with lisa loeb for all eternity. terrifyingly, amen.
